Marketing Maven

A young professional's struggle with everyday life...

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Ok it's been 4 years since I've actually been single...but here are a few things that I learned from the dating scene.

DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM (Or make sure you have them AT home)

1. A fabulous photo of yourself. We all have that photo: The one where your smile, hair, and (let's be honest) body all come together in one sexy little package, whether it's that snapshot from your hike in the Grand Canyon or that cocktail party photo where you're dressed to kill. Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can't help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: "Is that you?" What he means: "Daa-aamn, girl, you're hotter than I realized!" Keep a digital version handy so you can email it to online suitors or blind dates who want a glimpse of the goods beforehand. And never, ever throw it away -- when you're 80-something it'll serve as an instant reminder that back in the day, you were hot.
2. A pretty pair of heels. And no, they don't have to be towering stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently.
3. An Eminem CD. If all he sees is a stack of girly bands (say, the Indigo Girls, the Go-Go's, Joni Mitchell and the Bridget Jones' Diary soundtrack), he's going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended -- and that's music to any man's ears.
4. A great pickup line...and a way to blow 'em off. Prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that hottie who's making his way to your area of the bar. An easy one is: "Hi. Having fun?" (Though my favorite is, "Hetero, homo or metro?") And in cases when a guy initiates contact and you're not interested, you could always say, "Sorry, I don't think the guy I'm seeing would appreciate it." Or have some fun and make pretend you don't speak English.
5. A six-pack of good bottled beer. A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time.
6. Bathroom reading. What man doesn't appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie's bathroom?
7. A business card. After the age of 18, it's no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you.
8. Earplugs. Ah, there's nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night's sleep. Unless-SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ!-he snores so loudly you can't get any sleep.
9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial. Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who's been there, done that.
10. A condom. You can't always count on him to have something in his back pocket -- or a 24-hour drugstore on the route home. (Your new mantra: If you don't want it to break, you buy it.)